it was great to have my godparents back from florida.
i missed them lots and tears just poured out of my eyes when i saw her.

while the bouncer was looking at my ID for chris brown's birthday party..
he asked me, "how old are you?"

i didnt expect it and i blurted out:  "26."

bouncer: "okay. get in."

facts about this situation:

1. the bouncer is a dumbass because if he was checking to see if i know how i old i am, he should have known... i OBVIOUSLY have no idea how old i am.

2. i'm 25.

it's just like the new year thing.. i keep on writing 2008 before it's 2008.

body fact #1:

as much as i can take spicy food through the mouth,
i can not handle it on the exit.

what a shame.

sigh.

as far as... manners, etiquette (<- a word that made me lose in the final round of a middle school spelling bee) and/or cultures go...

saying "bless you.." is not only meaningless, but it is also truncated. (taking away, possibly, the most important word.)

if its only purpose is to prove your "kindness" and fulfill an almost social obligation with no regard to the meaning (assuming that no one really believes that a soul has been sneezed out), i guess i want to keep on saying it since i am not an un-kind person.

one thing though...

it's stupid that i feel like i deserve a "thank you" for it as well.

mm.. ever since i found out chris brown lived in palisades park, i've been sort of.. out of my mind.
who knows why such an irrelevant fact in my life would make me this way? i don't know.

well. i found out he's got a party goin on at rebel tomorrow.
so sweet yuta got me tickets.

well. i sort of begged him.
why? i dunno.. i'm out of my mind.

ugh.

#1. i'm so sick of seeing brooke white on american idol. considering i dont watch it on tv, i could totally skip her youtube clips. BUT, out of courtesy i watch. and with no courtesy, i feel that she is junk. her crying-at-the-same-time type smile makes me want to puke. BORING.

#2. jason castro makes every song he sings.. seem really hard to sing. in an odd way, he will make one note sound beautiful, but that and his sweet sweet eyes are not enough for me to LOVE him.

#3. i wish david archuleta will just get off the show and just make a disney movie already. something like a guy's version of mulan or something. anything that has him singing with a lot of.. um.. hope in it. he's just great in that way.

#4. david cook has a way of making the coldest face expressions.. it makes me feel like his heart is made of ice. i think he's brilliant in twisting songs around to make them his.. but in a way, it makes him like a 24 by 7 song-calculating machine. always thinking.

#5. syesha... oh.. syesha.. her voice is beautiful. yeah, sometimes she can sound like any typical well-singing black woman, but that statement.. is sad. it's sad and funny how if you have a lot of well-singing black women... they tend to pull each other down and group themselves in a word like "typical." regardless. i love her voice.

like i sed, i dont watch american idol on tv. but i'm a fervent american idol fan on youtube.

here are my two favorite remakes:

syesha mercado - yesterday

david cook - always be my baby

It's been almost 2 weeks since my mom left to her friends house.

I am SO ENRAGED by her actions. she comes once in awhile to do my laundry and cook me some food. WHICH ENRAGES ME MORE.

She leaves me alone in this apartment and shatters my happiness of finally moving out of the stupid apartment.

I told her.. i have no desire to live by myself. I have no desire to live without her. She is NOT a burden to me.. and... i am already FULLY INDEPENDENT.. whether she lives with me or not.

Anyway. Fact is.. all of these reasons are accessories..

fact is. SHE doesnt want to live with me. She wants to live with her husband.

Which happens to be my dad.

She wants him to take care of her... grow old with her. Becomes grandparents together.

I wanted to ask her why she wants to live with someone who made her miserable.

Why she doesnt want to live... HAPPY for once.

Why she wants to.. in my point of view.. continue to believe that she has no other choice.

But i dont say these things.. or at least not anymore.

I do understand.. i do know she cant really change.

I just feel better when she's with me. And the horrible thing is.. i dont even really talk to her that much when we are together. Majority of the time.. im irritated by her.. irritated by her illogic.

And then... this horrible guilt.. when she looks at me with shame.

Im sure it's a reason enough to not want to live with me.

Who she is... makes me mad.. and my anger.. makes her uncomfortable.

But all i want.. is her to be happy.

Its just a vicious cycle.

Dam cliches.

old place:

living room (my room):

(fyi: getting ready to move)

kitchen:

dirty floor that was impossible to clean and disabled oven:

bathroom:

dining room:

the one bedroom in the apt:

new place:

living room (my room):

other side of living room (includes the dining room):

bathroom:

kitchen with clean floor and new oven:

the one bedroom in the apt:

so yeah, a lil extras on the new apt: i live on the second floor and my downstairs neighbor is an elderly lady.
i had this eerie feeling she was a nosy neighbor.

then one of the first mornings i left to go to work, i forgot my phone and blackberry so i turned around and EVER SO QUICKLY, the curtains to her window closed.

that never happened to me before and the thought of someone watching me from behind made me wanna barf.

if i wasnt wearing my long coat, she would have gotten a glimpse of my flat ass. tisk tisk. too bad.

love,
eunjoo.

as an asian.. korean.. woman, i am MOST disappointed and ashamed of.. (MORE than having smaller boobs)

having a flat ass.

not only am i irritated with what i have, i recently saw a lady in the bus and i actually felt so ashamed for this lady, i wanted to cover her ass for her.

it was as if her ass was like a piece of paper.

*edit. i am working on improving what i have. not making it perfect, because that is impossible. but better.

because i am the biggest idiot in the planet of baking..

i almost made plantain-nut bread.

the recipe had stated: "unfortunately, most supermarkets do not sell ripe bananas..." so i was delighted to find the "RIPE" sign in the banana section in my supermarket.

i bought six of them so i can smash some and put it between the layers of the bread.

i wanted to bake right away, but the "bananas" seemed very stiff for ripe bananas so i decided to leave them out for another day.

i came home and found out my mom took 3 of them to work. -_-;;
so i got minah to come with me AGAIN, to get some more ripe bananas.
only to find minah tell me: "mmm.. these are plantains."

me: what's the difference?

minah: i dunno. but i know it's different... mmm....  i know that you can do things with the plantains that you cant do with bananas.

me: so i can still make plantain-nut bread?

minah: i dunno.

good old blackberry came to the rescue and i found out plantains are less sweet and more starchy. not good for first time banana-nut bread experiment.. so i got some real bananas and now i'm eating some fried plantains.